We interrupt your regularly-scheduled blogging to tell you that there are some exciting things happening behind the scenes here at Little Miss Wedding Planner, so keep an eye out as I get some changes integrated to the blog!
If you asked me for a template for the Wedding Party Newsletter (Hi Stephanie!), I am working on it and hope to have a section of different templates available for all of you.
Thanks for your patience! We’ll return to regular scheduled blogging shortly.
In case you live under a rock are not sports-minded, yesterday was the Super Bowl. My team didn’t make it, but you could say I am a closet Saints fan this year after they beat the Vikings (the team I love to hate because of a certain quarterback), so I was happy to see them win it all. Watching the game, though, got me thinking about competition.
Do you ever feel like your wedding is a competition? I never used to, but lately, I have to admit that I have been feeling this way. We will be invited to/attend 5 weddings this year, all before our own wedding in October. I don’t feel any sort of competition with those weddings, though, because all of them are so completely different than our own. There’s an outdoor wedding in the North Woods of Wisconsin, a country club wedding, a hotel wedding, a wedding at a history museum, and a big ol’ fashioned family wedding. Each wedding and its venue, style, and formality is very fitting for each respective couple. Another important distinction? Each wedding has its own set of guests, with very little overlap, and thus, no comparison.
Recently, one of my closest friends, B, got engaged. Before her engagement, Dr. Groomy and I were the first in our set of friends to take the plunge into engagement waters. While I have enjoyed being the first one to go through this process, going first does have its own double-edged sword. I’m learning as I go—as no one in our tight-knit little group has gotten married yet, no one really knows the ins and outs of planning a wedding. When we started planning, I prioritized the things Dr. Groomy and I wanted most, and went from there. However, since B’s engagement, I’m struggling to remember that there is no right or wrong way to plan your wedding. Even though we have our own set of priorities, those priorities are not going to match everyone else’s. We wanted a fancy venue, yummy food, and great photography. Photography is not high on B’s list, but a live band is. While I would normally celebrate these differences (Hello, live band?! Awesome!), lately I’ve been worried that everyone will compare our weddings, because we have really similar guest lists and there will be a lot of people who attend both weddings. Though it’s hard for me to admit, I have felt myself questioning our choices based on what B has been deciding lately. (Example thought that ran through my head recently: “OMG she is booking her transportation already?! Holy crap! Oh no! They want a trolley too?! What if she thinks I am copying her?!” )
Honestly, I don’t know why I am feeling like this. B is not a competitive person, and we are not competitive friends—in fact, we’re far from it…more of the “two peas in a pod” variety of friends, if you get my drift. I am absolutely THRILLED for her and cannot wait to be there, with her, when she marries the love of her life. And I know she feels the same about me…yet lately I can’t help feeling tense and worried that people aren’t going to like my wedding but are going to love hers. Or they’re going to think our drinks are expensive because hers are priced differently. Or they’re going to think we’re pretentious and they’re not. Stupid, right?
Fact: Every venue prices things differently.
Fact: We are a laid-back couple but we really wanted a fancy party, so that’s what we’re doing. That doesn’t make us pretentious.
Fact: We are having two completely different weddings…so why am I feeling like this?
I think part of the reason is because we, as brides, put so much time and effort into planning this ONE day, and there’s this huge complex about weddings out there—you know, the whole “it is the most important day in your life and if it gets screwed up you are a failure at being a bride” attitude. So not true, but sometimes, that’s the perception the wedding industry seems to be throwing in our faces (I’m talking to you, WeTV!). Because I was the first one to start planning, I only knew one way of doing things. B is planning now too and she’s doing things in her own way. That’s as it should be…and even though it’s completely illogical, it leads me to feel like I’m doing something incorrectly.
There isn’t a neat way to wrap up this post except to say that it was really difficult for me to write. Admitting to feeling inadequate or competitive is no easy feat, but I feel like I can’t be the only one who’s in need of reassurance. So tell me, ladies…how do you fight off feelings of inadequacy and competition when it comes to planning your weddings?
Last we left off, I had found a lovely pair of wedding shoes that didn’t fit quite right. I tried everything, but ultimately decided to wait out Zappos to see if, magically, the warehouse would get more shoes in that were in my correct size, so I could exchange. Well, guess what?! This weekend, they did!
I woke up Sunday morning and pitter-pattered into the kitchen to make some tea. While I waited for the water to heat, I checked my email…and lo and behold, there was a brand new email from Zappos telling me they had the lovely Stuart Weitzman Pomposo shoes in my size!
I freaked out a little bit and grabbed my phone. Ten minutes later, a pair of size 8 satin ruby Pomposos were on my way…and $109 was on its way back to my bank account, thanks to the fact that the shoes are now on sale! Woowoo!!
I waited with baited breath for two whole days…and on Tuesday, they arrived:
Hello, lovers!
Even our cat, CC, was excited: 
Holding my breath, I opened the box to reveal: 
Sigh. So lovely, so perfect…but would they fit?
Answer:
HELL YESSSSSSS!!!!
LOVE THEM!!!
Let’s do a quick gap comparison:
BEFORE
AFTER
NO GAP!!! Ok, so I know the angle is different, but I am trying to convey that the size 8s fit PERFECTLY.
Hooray…the Shoe Saga is no more!
Did you have difficulty with a part of your wedding attire?
If you missed the beginning of the Flower Power series, catch up here:
Centerpieces
Bouquets
Bouts
So today is the day I finally reveal to you our florist! First though, I want to take a quick minute to tell you how I felt about the process.
If you follow me on Twitter, you’ll know that I found deciding a flower budget to be very difficult. What do flowers cost? How do you know how much to spend? Thankfully, Em over at Burning River Bride totally helped me out—she sent me a super great email with tips about what to think about (ie in-season flowers? all one color? etc.) , what our floral needs might be (ie this many bouts, this many bouquets,etc)…AND she prepared me for the costs. Hello, flowers are expensive!!! Dang. At least I didn’t go in and get shell-shocked. Thanks lady!
(Source)
We’ll have 1/3 of our centerpieces like this…
I only interviewed two florists. I say only because I think my mom wanted me to interview one more, but I was sort of done with it—at this point in my planning, I am pretty good at narrowing down the options and the workload. I knew that interviewing another florist was going to cause me to feel confused about who to choose and that the quotes wouldn’t be that different from those I already had, because I went in to the interviews with a budget number in mind. There’s my first “find a florist” tip, kids: figure out how much you want to spend, even if you have no clue. Ballpark it, and your florist will usually try to stay within that range. It helped that Florist B gave me two separate quotes, so even though I only interviewed two florists, I ended up with three quotes to prepare.
(Source)
And 2/3 like this…
“Find a florist” Tip 2: Go with your gut. I decided to meet with Florist A after she did the flowers for a friend’s wedding. She came highly recommended, not only by my friend, but also by another bridal blogger. I was fully expecting to love this florist and go with her, because I was told her prices would be great and she was great to work with. I walked away from the meeting feeling a little differently:
Florist A was very nice, but she was very boisterous (bordering on super loud—and I am a loud person, so for me to say that? Wow.) and easily excited. That’s great, but I left the meeting feeling very overwhelmed. I brought many inspiration pictures to show her, including shots of centerpieces, bouquets, etc. that I liked, as well as pictures of my shoes and my dress. She didn’t even look at them. NOT ONCE. What?! She sat me down at her workbench, took out a piece of paper, and said, “Let’s design your bouquet.” Well, that’s great, but I have no idea about flowers and as she was suggesting them left and right, I had no idea what she was talking about—and she didn’t show me any pictures of them. I was in and out in about half an hour, and when I left, I had no idea what the bouquet we had just “designed” would even look like. And I still had all my pictures in hand, not glanced through or kept by the florist at all. I knew, almost right away, that unless her quote came in super low, I probably wouldn’t be going with her.
Florist B, on the contrary, was a cheerful, quiet woman who welcomed me right into her workshop. We sat down on stools and she looked through all the pictures I had brought, asking questions about why I liked certain bouquets and showing me pictures of flowers that I could use to achieve those looks. She took color photocopies of most of my photos so she could keep them and let me browse through a million “flip books” of different florals in different color groups. If I saw something I liked, she checked its seasonality and wrote it down for me. We chit-chatted for nearly an hour and a half, and the entire time I felt like I was in the company of an older, wiser friend. I left the meeting feeling really excited, but knew she was a very popular and well-known florist in Milwaukee, so I was afraid that her quotes might not fall within my budget.
(Source)
And some lush bouquets like this!
When the quotes came in, I was shocked. Florist A sent me one quote that was well over the budget I had set. Florist B sent me not one, but TWO quotes that fell right at my budget. Hooray! I knew I had found my florist.
I am excited to tell you that we will be working with Debrah at Petaluna Floral, whose shop is right in our neighborhood. I am so excited to be working with Debrah—I feel like she really understood my vision, yet respected my budget. And their floral process is very cool: they only book one wedding per day, and we can add, change, or delete items all the way until a month before the wedding. As a bonus, they will hand-paint color drawings of what our bouquets, bouts, and centerpieces will look like, so we can fully see them before they purchase all the flowers. How amazing is that? So “finding a florist” is crossed off the list, and I feel really happy about our decision.
How did you decide on your florist? Was it an easy decision for you?
And because you made it through this really long wordy post…how about another engagement picture to ogle? 
(Photo by Sarah Immel Photography)
I know, I know: I said I would come back today to talk to you about our florist. And I will! I promise! I am very excited to be working with her!! First though, I want to talk about something a little taboo: the break-up.
(Source)
No, I’m not talking about that kind of break-up! I’m talking about the email or phone call you inevitably have to make when you need to tell one vendor that you’ve decided to go with another. Obviously, I interviewed more than one florist…which meant that at some point, I had to send an email to the florist I didn’t hire.
There are many schools of thought on this, but these are mine: someone who has shared their visions of your wedding day with you and taken considerable time to write up a proposal deserves to be told one way or another if you are hiring them or not. Granted, it’s different for every vendor and situation, but here are my general tips for writing that email:
1. Be vague at first, but don’t be afraid to be specific later, either. I find that it’s best at first to be a little vague—simply thank the vendor for their time but tell them you’re going in a different direction. Good vendors—the people who you didn’t hire for one reason or another but who still were polite, responsive and have a good work portfolio—aren’t going to berate you for not picking them. Sometimes, after you’ve sent them the break-up email, they’ll respond back and ask you why. If you feel comfortable sharing the reasons you aren’t going with them, many vendors are actually grateful to hear these reasons, as it helps them focus on improving their business for future customers. I don’t feel that it’s necessary to be specific in an initial email, but if they ask, don’t be afraid to say why you are going with someone else.
2. Those vendors you don’t like still deserve to know. Yes, it may be easier to forget a rude vendor rather than send them an email…but in the end, does that make you any better than them? Better to take the high road and just politely state that you’re going in a different direction. You can feel good that you made the right choice AND stayed polite. Which leads me to tip 3…
(Source)
3. Just because a vendor is rude to you doesn’t mean you deserve to be rude to them. There can be a bad apple in every bunch: Sometimes, an outrageous vendor will, in fact, have the balls to berate you about not choosing them. Or maybe they were rude during your appointment. Or maybe they didn’t show up to your appointment at all! Despite those egregious errors, I subscribe to the school of thought that two wrongs don’t make a right. Better to stay above the fray and not risk any repercussions later on (who knows who this vendor is friends with? Especially in a tight-knit industry like weddings). If you are not going with a vendor because he or she has been rude to you, go re-read tip number one: be vague yet polite in your response and don’t feel like you owe the vendor any further explanation. Even if they ask for it—continue to be polite. Try responding with a concrete reason they can’t argue with (example: pricing)…and if they’re still rude? Hit delete and move on.
4. Keep it short and sweet. Most likely, you haven’t developed a long-term relationship with this vendor (unless you’ve already booked them and now have to break up with them, but that’s an entirely different experience in itself). There’s no need to write a novel—just state the quick facts and move on. Vendors appreciate that you sent the email and didn’t waste their time with a long, drawn-out story.
(Source)
Ok, maybe not THAT short and sweet, but you know what I mean!
5. If in doubt, send one. And by one, I mean email, of course! Maybe you only met this person once. Maybe you didn’t even meet them, but engaged in a few email conversations and still decided to go elsewhere. Either way, it’s better to drop them a quick line so they aren’t bombarding your inbox with follow-ups.
Here’s an example of an email I’ve written:
Dear XXXXXXX,
Thank you for taking the time to meet with me the other day. It was a pleasure meeting you and discussing ideas for our wedding; however, we have decided to go with a different ______________ (insert vendor type here).
I wish you the best of luck in the future and thank you again for meeting with me!
Best regards,
Amy
Short, sweet, and to the point. If I get a response back asking why I am choosing someone else, I am more than happy to be more specific and share.
Keep in mind, these tips don’t apply to every situation…and I am certainly not advocating that you let yourself get walked all over by an outrageously rude vendor. But, if you keep these rules of thumb in mind, you should be able to walk (er, email?) away from most (if not all) of your vendor meetings being seen as a responsible, polite, and easy-to-work-with customer.
What are your tips for “breaking up” with a vendor?
I have so much exciting stuff to post about this week: booking our florist, an end to the shoe saga!!!, and GETTING OUR ENGAGEMENT PICTURES BACK!
I am still waiting for the disc to come in the mail, but for now, here’s a sneak peak: (please note, these are just screen shots until I can actually get the images from the disc!)
I feel like I accomplished so many miscellaneous wedding things this weekend. The time is going by so quickly and it finally feels REAL to me—we’re getting married! I’ve got a busy day on the agenda at the office, but I’ll be back tomorrow for my last installment of the Flower Power series—booking our florist.
At what point did it start to feel real to you?
Seriously, I love pomander balls. Remember when I made these as a trial run?
(Photo by me)
They were, of course, inspired by these:
(Source)
And then I saw these:
(Source)
And decided I needed to try making those instead of tissue paper pomanders.
Then TODAY, I saw these:
(Source)
RIBBON POMANDERS! Seriously, how cute are those? And they could be pretty cost-effective, if you bought ribbon on sale. AND it seems a hell of a lot easier than fluffing all those flowers!
My only problem with pomanders is this:
(Source)
Hello, our church is gorgeous. We don’t even really need decor—we’re not doing flowers or anything for the ceremony. I was going to use the lovely pomanders I wanted to make for aisle decor, but now I am wondering if we even need those. I could have my flower girl carry a ribbon pomander, but I keep thinking that’s going to look dumb since all the rest of the girls are carrying regular florals, and she is certainly old enough to handle real flowers. So I turn to you, friends: what do you think? Should I stick with my plan to have few aisle pomanders or keep the church plain? What about the flower girl? Help!
Oh, how Type A I can be.
Look, I’m Type A. I know I’m that way, my friends and family know I’m that way and I think from past posts you all know by now that I’m that way. So, naturally, I have to have the most organized and informed bridal party known to man…which means, of course, that I had to do a Wedding Party Newsletter!
There are lots of great templates and ideas out there for wedding party newsletters, but in the end, I started from scratch and made it up as I went along. It ended up being a nine page PDF document (I know it’s long!), but at least our wedding party now has all the pertinent information necessary at this stage in the game.
Page one is an introduction, which thanks them all for being part of our day and points them in the direction of our wedding website and my blog (and my reasons for blogging, most of which I whited out here), as well as tells them what they’ll find on the following pages.
The next three pages are all an introduction to our wedding party as it stands now (we are still in the process of deciding some ushers, readers, etc.)
Page 5 is the Wedding Party Contact List, which has all of their names, phone numbers, and email addresses. Clearly, that information has been whited out here (sorry!).
Page 6 starts some of the important info about the actual wedding weekend. On the next few pages, I discuss our venues, a preliminary wedding weekend timeline, and include a note about attire (when we’ll shop for it, where we’ll go, etc).
Lastly, I included a page on our hotel room blocks, so our peeps can all get their wedding weekend rooms lined up.
And there you have it, our Wedding Party Newsletter! What do you think? Admittedly, this took more time than I thought it would, but I am really pleased with the results, and as a bonus, I will be able to morph this into our wedding weekend document, which I think will be in a similar vein as Mrs. Daffodil’s. I am still working on setting up a template for you guys for this, so if you would like a copy, please leave a note in the comments and I will get one to you!
Did you do a Wedding Party Newsletter? If not, how are you keeping your wedding party informed?
*All of the above screenshots by me. That Snipping Tool in Windows 7 is the coolest thing EVER!
Boutonnieres, to be honest, aren’t something I really think about when I think “wedding flowers.” Yes, they are integral part of the groom’s look, but much like his tux, it’s not something I really know a lot about!
I am pretty classic in my flower views…I like traditional. Here are three bouts I think fit that bill!
Hypericum berries! Classic, classic, classic. Did you know they come in different colors aside from greens and reds? You can get them in a wide variety of colors to match many color schemes. I prefer a bit more of a tailored look for the berries than the one above, but at least you know what they look like now.
Roses. I’m pretty sure these have been used as bouts for ages. And why not? They hold up well all day long, come in a wide variety of colors, and look pretty nice, too.
(Source for all of the above photos)
Calla lilies. Yup, I hate ‘em for bouquets and centerpieces but I love them as boutonnieres. They look so chic, I think!
To be honest, I don’t really feel the need to discuss wrist corsages or pomander balls (to me, they’re like boutonnieres—a dime a dozen!). We are thisclose to selecting a florist, so stay tuned for the final installment of the Flower Power series—the big reveal on our florist, plus my thoughts and tips on selecting your floral vendor!
Are you a classic floral gal like me, or are you incorporating more interesting floral ideas into your wedding decor? Please share!
See the rest of the Flower Power series here:
Centerpieces
Bouquets
Or more aptly titled, The Post About Transportation.
We’ll get back to the Flower Power series later this week, but for now, I interrupt your regularly scheduled flower blogging to talk about booking transportation for the wedding:
What a PAIN in the ASS. Seriously. This is the one wedding task I absolutely HATE. Not only am I finding out that transportation costs vary greatly from company to company, but I’ve also noticed that most of the companies I have contacted so far have little to no customer service. As in, I will send them an email and get a one-sentence reply back with their price. No signature, no thank you, no “here’s how to book.” It’s annoying!
(Source)
So, will we end up with a limo bus?
I feel really overwhelmed when I think about working on transportation and in truth, I have been avoiding it. Originally, I thought we would offer our guests some transportation to and from their hotels to the reception site, but Dr. Groomy and several others have pointed out that although that is a nice gesture, it is a) completely unnecessary because our hotels are within walking distance and b) an added expense that we just don’t need. So, we scratched providing guest transportation. Instead, I will be supplying the name and phone numbers of local cab companies to all of our guests via our website, in our welcome packets in the out-of-town bags, and with a small sign on a table near the doors of our reception site. Guest transportation: Check.
(Source)
Or perhaps a school bus?
Next to think about is transportation for our wedding party, their guests, and our close family members. “You’re providing transportation for your wedding party’s guests?” You say. “Why, yes, we are!” I say. Why? Because I have been a guest at weddings where my date was in the wedding party and I have felt utterly left out and awkward, because I didn’t know that many people at the wedding. It may not be a priority for you, but I have to say that it is bizarre to me how many brides don’t give much thought to their wedding party or their dates. Hello, these people have paid money to stand up and support you on this special day in your life! The least you can do is make them and their dates comfortable during the process. Yes, it may cost a little extra money, but to me, it is worth it to keep my wedding party happy. So, we’re looking at transportation for about 25 or so people to the ceremony, from the ceremony to the pictures, from the pictures to the reception, and the reception back to the hotels. Can you say “logistics problem”? How will that work out? A lot of companies have four hour minimums, but I have had little help in knowing if we can use two hours here and two hours there. The whole thing is totally frustrating to me.
(Source)
Or maybe even a trolley!
I won a $250 gift certificate from a local limo company at a fundraiser at my local pub a few months ago. Great, right? Wrong. The limo company is easily the most expensive company I have dealt with so far. Even with the gift certificate, their costs come in well above many other companies in the area. Le sigh.
So, I turn to you friends: what are you doing for your wedding transportation? If you feel comfortable sharing how much you are spending, I would appreciate it, since I feel as though I don’t even know what’s reasonable anymore. Any tips for me as to how to make this task easier? Please share!
