Planning a Cohesive Event

Several times during the planning process so far, I’ve become bogged down by inspiration.  There are so many fabulous weddings out there and I sometimes feel as if ours won’t measure up.  What I mean is, all of these weddings have fabulous themes and cohesive ideas and everything looks so striking and coordinated together, and I worry that our wedding will just look like a mish-mosh of ideas.  I know the things I like, and I know the things Dr. Groomy likes, and I know the things we like together as a couple, but I worry that I won’t be able to pull all those details together and weave them into a single, cohesive event.  Most importantly, I worry that the wedding won’t feel like “us.”

In terms of our wedding theme and decor, here’s what we do have/know:

Our color palette
Our venue (and our church!)
Our style, which I haven’t written too much about yet (because as is the point of this post, I think we need to flush it out a bit more!)

And here’s what we don’t have/know:

Pretty much everything else:  florals, cake, linens, invitations, THEME

How do we infuse our personalities into the many details that make up the day?  We both love sports, being active, wine, good food, sarcastic humor, etc.  We each have our own loves:  cooking, reading, movies, video games, fantasy football (I’ll let you guess which one of us loves that one!), etc.  Do we take one of those elements and infuse it into our day?  We both work on the fritz of the medical industry, do we use that to create a theme?  Do we pick a stationery theme and then use that as a way to weave all our elements together?  Or do we start completely from scratch with no theme in mind and go from there?

I debated for a long time about writing this post, but then I decided that there must be other brides who have felt this way.  We were visiting my parents this weekend, and of course, conversations turned to the wedding.  I can’t remember exactly what we were talking about, but I told my mom, “No, we can’t do that—we’re having a formal wedding!”  She replied, “But you’re not really formal people!”  That single comment sent me reeling.  I WANT* our wedding to be beautiful, formal, chic and ELEGANT.  I have always dreamed of having a big fancy party, and that’s what we’re aiming to have.  However, I do NOT want people to walk away feeling like it “wasn’t us.”   So how do I strike the balance between fancy and stuffy?  Between a classed-up version of ourselves and trying too hard to be something we’re not?

Sometimes, when I look at all the fabulous weddings out there, I feel really stressed.  What if our wedding never comes together like that?  Of course, I know it will still be a wonderful, joyous occasion filled with family and friends, and that’s the most important thing…but I also know the part of me who wants it to be an aesthetically-pleasing, cohesive and beautiful event. 

Do you ever worry your ideas won’t come together?  Any tips for me on how to infuse our SELVES into every aspect of the wedding?

*I really hate using the phrase I WANT when it comes to talking about the wedding, because I know the wedding is about what WE want.  However, in this context, I’m discussing my own feelings and not Dr. Groomy’s. 



Filed under Worries

7 responses to “Planning a Cohesive Event

  1. Ali

    I don’t know…but my suggestion is this.
    Sit down and create a list of the things EVERYONE knows the two of you for- Brewers baseball- miller lite- dave matthews- being healthy (Wii), wine,…etc. All the things you have in common and incorporate them into what you want. This isn’t about what everyone else thinks about your wedding- its about what YOU think. Because I know you and your Type A, it WILL be beautiful elegant, charming, no stone untouched, yadda yadda yadda. So instead of worrying about that, focus on what YOU want- and there is a name for “mish-mosh”….its called eclectic- if anyone has a problem, tell them its eclectic 🙂 Hang in there!

  2. ashinwi

    I understand how you feel. I often worry that things won’t come together, that the party will look scattered and haphazard and (oh no!) cheap. On the other hand, I worry that we’ll take our theme too far and be that weird over-the-top event that attendees will mock for the rest of our lives. It’s a hard balance. I don’t know… We’re hoping that by just including things that we truly care about, the wedding will be cohesive enough and have enough of our personalities in them. Hopefully!

  3. Jill

    I think the wedding should fit your personalitites, but it is also a chance to create the exact celebration you want to create. In the end, YOU are the ones planning, so it will be completely YOU. Just maybe a side that you don’t get to show everyday 🙂

    I have so much anxiety about the paper (save the dates, invites, menus, programs), that I just don’t even want to think about it. I want it all to match, and tie everything together, but I get so overwhelemed. Paper is STRESSFUL!!!!

  4. amyc13

    Thanks for all the comments, guys…glad to know that I am not alone in this!

    Jill: no need to be stressed over paper…I am sure it will be beautiful whatever you choose. Have you tried Paper Source yet? We don’t have one here but I know there is one somewhere near you in Chicago…brides everywhere seem to love that store!

    AshinWI: Another Wisconsin bride! Where are you getting married?

    Ali: Thanks for the advice…we did sit down at dinner last night and talk about a lot of those things, so I feel like it’s coming together a little better now!

  5. ashinwi

    I am getting married at Schuster’s Playtime Farm just outside of Madison. I think it’ll be a lot of fun, but I hope our fall/farm theme won’t be too goofy. Yay, Wisconsin brides!

  6. Ali

    p.s. I just checked out the last wedding link you have and I LOVE the science themed wedding- I could see you two doing something like that.

  7. Pingback: A “Taste” of Our Wedding « Little Miss Wedding Planner

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