Today is Blog Buddy Appreciation Day, the brain child of the awesomely fun blogger KJPugs. When I first read this announcement on her blog, I knew I wanted to participate…because blogging is something that I really enjoying doing!
So today, I want to talk about why I blog. Honestly though, I have to say that I debated posting about this topic for a long time this morning. I’m not usually into writing about heavy stuff…I lean more towards writing about the fun parts of planning a wedding. But I feel like this post needed to be written, so that I can commiserate with my Blogger Buddies who know what I mean.
I’m so tuned into the world of blogging that I sometimes forget it’s a fairly new medium…and that not everyone understands why someone would blog. Some of us blog to document major life accomplishments. Others, to share knowledge and love of certain topics. Some, to become Bees. And still others, because writing is cathartic. But all of us blog because it’s something we enjoy—a hobby, a past-time, something we happily devote our time to. I blog because I LOVE TO WRITE, and blogging is an outlet for me to discuss all things wedding, without bogging down my real-life friends and family with details that I know people don’t really care about. And I’m fine with that…because I truly do enjoy blogging, and writing in general. And the wedding blog community is full of fantastic, supportive women who “get” things like why I spent two full days on envelope liners.
I was recently in a social situation where I found myself regretting the one thing I have absolutely loved doing since February 2009—writing this blog. In short, I was in a situation where the wrong use of a word (in this case, I meant to say invitation “consultant” and instead I said “specialist”—um, I blame the Miller Lite? Who knew one word could kick off such drama. I didn’t intend to sound like an asshole, that’s for sure.) quickly spiraled into an assault on this blog and the fact that I have really enjoyed planning our wedding. Soon, it was no longer a discussion on wedding planning at all, but a situation where some pretty hurtful things were said to me about my lifestyle and the type of wedding I am planning.
Some of you may remember, back in the day in the very early stages of this blog, how concerned I was about becoming a bridezilla. A simple comment, made in jest by a friend, has pervaded much of my planning—causing me to take on most of the load myself, without the help of family and friends. Though difficult at times, this has actually been a blessing for me—I’ve been able to discover just how much I love the details, no matter how miniscule they may be. I’ve also discovered I have a talent for this—event planning could be something I want to do with my future. I thought I was doing a good job of not being demanding or overzealous with my friends, until I was made to feel that because I care about the details and am planning a fancy—and dare I say it, expensive—wedding, I am snobby, not as career-driven, and no longer have to “struggle” like my friends. This blog—this place where I started writing because I didn’t want to bother my friends with minute details about ONE day—was suddenly used to hurt and laugh at me, however unintentionally the conversation might have started out.
Ladies, listen up: there is no right or wrong way to plan a wedding. Some of the most beautiful weddings are at the courthouse…or on the beach…or even in a parking garage. And yes, some of the most beautiful weddings are big, fancy, black-tie affairs. But I totally get it. Some brides aren’t into the planning process. And you know what? That’s freaking awesome too. And if you aren’t into it, so be it! I won’t judge. So please don’t judge me because I AM into it. I’ve never said to any of my engaged friends, “You have to be into it like I am. And have the same wedding as me, with the same priorities.” That’s ludicrous.
Dr. Groomy and I are throwing ourselves a big fancy wedding because we want to celebrate a marriage that has been a long-time in the making. SEVEN YEARS, people—that’s a common law marriage here in Wisconsin. So yes, we are throwing ourselves a big party. Yes, it will be organized and detail-oriented, down to the napkins, the placecards, and God forbid—the invitations. And you know what? We’re not apologizing for it.
Several times during this specific situation I mentioned above, I wished I had never written this blog. Or maybe I just wished that I had never shared it with family and friends. I’d certainly be getting a lot less shit from people. But you know what? Just like our big fat fancy wedding, I don’t regret blogging one bit. I love this space and the friends I’ve made because of it. People who don’t even know me in real life, but who are somehow able to understand and commiserate. Like Sabrina, for example—who I have been friends with since 2008 now. We’ve shared weight loss & running experiences on CalorieKing.com, then wedding planning experiences and more out in the blogosphere. Now, I can honestly say she is a close friend of mine—we talk nearly every day through emails, GChat, Facebook and blogging. Or Emily, who is off celebrating her honeymoon as we speak—a girl who has kept me SANE during the wedding planning process. She lets me bitch when I need to and commiserates with me when I need to complain about things. There are so many of you who have made a difference in my life* and I wouldn’t know you if it wasn’t for blogging. So THANK YOU. To all of you! For getting why I give a shit about flowers and decor and things I feel like only I would think about. This is why I blog—because to me, this is a safe haven where I can care about these things and not feel judged. If you’re reading this and you’re struggling to remember why YOU blog….remember that it’s the community it builds and the support we receive from perfect strangers that keeps us all coming back for more.
Happy Blog Buddy Appreciation Day, friends.
*There are too many of you to link to or recount here…so if you’re reading this, know I am talking about YOU, too!