The Post In Which I Bitch A Lot

So, there WERE actually some minor details that went wrong on our wedding day, which I alluded to briefly here.  While we had a beautiful, wonderful day and I wouldn’t change a thing about the events that transpired, there were two aesthetic issues that left me feeling…not so happy.  In the interest of full disclosure, I’m going to talk about them here so I can put them to bed once and for all.

We’ll start with the minor issue:  the chargers for our dinner tables.  Remember when we had our tasting and decided what our tablescape would look like?  We decided to go with gold runners and gold chargers to bring out the gold aspects of our color scheme, as the flowers were going to be red.  It was going to look something like this:

ChargersPhoto by me

When we arrived at the venue, I was pretty much in a whirlwind…so it wasn’t until dinner that I sat down and noticed this:


Um, yeah.  There’s no chargers there.  No chargers…that we had paid extra money to rent.

I previously mentioned that on the day before our wedding, my sister and I had gone to the venue to do some set-up of our family wedding photo display.  When we left, I felt really…harried, because the venue coordinator wasn’t there when we were, the room was a mess, and no one seemed to know what was going on.  As it turns out, no one did.  My mom spoke to our coordinator after we realized the chargers weren’t there, and she was so apologetic and actually, downright horrified that her staff had forgotten the chargers.  She spoke to the head set-up guy right away (who was also there to assist her at our actual reception), and he said that he had seen the chargers on the event order but had forgotten to put them out.  Our coordinator had taken a VACATION DAY* the day before our wedding, so the event order had never been double-checked.

Honestly, I wasn’t too upset about it.  They gave us our money back for the rented chargers PLUS gave us  several gift certificates for their local restaurants to make up for it, and Maria, our coordinator, was so apologetic.   While I LOVED the aesthetics of the chargers and was disappointed they weren’t there, no one really noticed so in the end, it wasn’t that big of a deal.

The flowers, however, are a different story.

Let me first preface this by saying that YES, our flowers were beautiful and YES, the room looked great, and NO, no one noticed or knew about any of the problems with them. 

You’ll remember that I had previously raved about how much I loved our florist…and that fact remains true.  She was a charming woman who I felt got our vision through and through. We reviewed what I wanted several times and she took copious notes, plus copies of the inspiration pictures I had printed out to give to her.  I should have listened to those tiny alarm bells going off in my head when she took her notes on scrap paper, though…as later, it was a clear indication that maybe she wasn’t paying as close attention as I thought she was.   Hold on to your hats, kids, because I’m not sure you’ll believe the stark differences in what I thought I was getting and what we ended up with.

First up, my bouquet…


…was supposed to be RED.

As in, all of the flowers in my bouquet were supposed to be red.  RED.  Like my bridesmaids bouquets, just bigger with more roses and the like. 


Secondly, the flower girl…


…was supposed to be carrying a pomander.  Like this one—only in ivory/gold tones—which is the inspiration picture I gave to my florist.  She even confirmed the size with me several times!


You’ll notice she’s carry a mini-bouquet.  To which she, as a 6 year old, was like, “What the hell**, Aunt Amy?  I thought I was having a ball like my sucker ball I practiced with last night?”

ring-bearer-flower-girl1Photo by family friend

Lastly, and the biggest error…the one that made me make a beeline straight for my mom as soon as we arrived at the reception and tell her “I hate the flowers!”

Our centerpieces.

The low ones were beautiful, and EXACTLY what I pictured.  So, there’s that, at least.


The tall ones, though?  Well, let’s just say there’s a STARK difference between this:


And this:



Hello, fall wedding?  HUGE branches?  Hello, hello, hello?!  What about the first picture evokes ANYTHING in the second picture?

I got over it quickly and went about enjoying the evening.  I didn’t want to let this ruin it, and most if not all of our guests never noticed my displeasure. But honestly, for a few weeks afterwards, it was one of the only things about the wedding I could think about.   So stupid, right?  I mean, we had such a wonderful day, and here I was concentrating on the dumb flowers…something that I, admittedly, had said I didn’t really care about it.  But the truth is…

You care.  You do.  When you’ve put months into planning an event and then expect it to have a certain aesthetic, and that aesthetic falls short, you care. 

I’m over it now and I am able to look back at the pictures and think, it doesn’t matter, because our wedding was beautiful and gorgeous regardless and I know how amazing it looked and was.    But I wanted to blog about this to let you unmarried gals know—no matter how prepared you are, no matter how well your plans have gone—something will go wrong and it is OK to be upset about it for a hot minute.  Try not to let it ruin your night (I was really good about moving right along), but it IS ok to dwell a little bit after the fact.

And since we’re being truthful here:  I’ve never had the guts to confront my florist about this.  I know I should, because we paid a lot of money, but I don’t know how to tell a woman who I really do LIKE so much that her work was sub-par.***

So, that’s that.  It feels good to get it off my chest and be done with it.  I love how beautiful our wedding turned out, but I think it’s important to be a realist about what really went down. Now it’s your turn:  anything go wrong like this at your nuptials?

*Listen, everyone’s entitled to a vacation now and then.  But the day before an event like a wedding?  I don’t know…if it was me, I probably wouldn’t plan a day off the day before an event that I’d been working on with the bride and groom for TWO YEARS.
**She didn’t say hell.  She’s 6, people.  But you catch my drift.
***And we’re not the only ones.  Brad’s barber—er, barbette?—actually used the same florist for her wedding and had not so great results, also.

All photos by Sarah Immel Photography unless otherwise noted.

P.S.  Did you notice my new button at the top of the page?  Now you can click on “Wedding Recaps” to find links to every recap I wrote! 



Filed under Floral, Venue, Worries

12 responses to “The Post In Which I Bitch A Lot

  1. Aw, I’m so sorry! I would have been dissapointed too! Your flowers look gorgeous (seriously!) but they are clearly not what you wanted, not even close. I would have called and complained immediately, but that’s just me.

    I know it’s enevitable that something will go wrong on our wedding day. It will bother me to no end if something major like food or flowers gets messed up. I know there’s nothing you can do once it’s done, it’s done.. so I’ll have to remember your advice to just let it go and enjoy the rest of the evening 🙂 Thanks for this reminder!

  2. amg

    Ohhhhhhh man. While the charger issue was totally crappy and shouldn’t have happened (who takes vacation the day before an event?!) I seriously think that the florist wasn’t even in the same ballpark with you on the flowers. You’re right — the inspiration pictures you gave here were NOTHING like what you paid for! That’s really disappointing….I’m sorry. 😦 Maybe you could say something to her (in a polite way) so that this doesn’t happen to other brides? Just an idea.

    As for my own wedding, the major disappointment of the day that we couldn’t control was the weather. The other disappointment that still gets me a bit hot under the collar is that hubs’s family didn’t even bother to show up for family portraits. No excuse — they had an itinerary! 😉

  3. That’s so frustrating! The florist mistakes are really unacceptable. Your bouquet looked gorgeous even though it wasn’t red, but the flower girl flowers and the three measly sticks is just wrong. I hope writing about it has helped you move on from it. Your wedding otherwise looked perfect.

    As for talking to your florist, unless you want money back, I probably wouldn’t say anything. I happen to hate confrontation though!

    The only thing that went “wrong” at our wedding was a delayed schedule. It affected some photos I wanted, but otherwise wasn’t a big deal. I’m happy that everything else went smoothly.

  4. First things first – you are TOTALLY justified and NOT bitching on and on at all. As one of the aforementioned unmarried ladies, who also is from MKE, I genuinely appreciate your honesty regarding the situation. I totally understand being upset about it and you have every right to be. There are VERY few events in life you spend that much time planning that last only one day. Totally justified.

    I will also say, no judgment at all about not confronting the florist. I probably wouldn’t either, I hate that kind of situation and can see how tough it would be to say something. So again, justified.

    Not that you need me to justify you feelings – just sayin’. 🙂

  5. Oh my goodness! I am so sorry to hear that about your flowers! I know how frustrating it is to put so much work and time into something, only to have the professionals hired not come through for you. On the one hand, your flowers were beautiful, but I can totally relate to them not being what you envisioned. Good for you to not let it ruin your night though!!

  6. I hear you loud & clear. I had the same problems! Like you I didn’t say anything to anyone who could do something about it. But I will say when I look at our wedding pics, the ugly chairs in the background (not the pretty ones in the contract) stick out like a sore thumb to me.

  7. I’m sorry things did not go 100% for you. If I can find a girl that things went 100% for, I’d love to shake her hand. Luckily all things that went wrong were unnoticed by guests!

    Our upsetting mishap for the night (besides the wedding crashers and even our photographers who missed the bouquet toss and garter toss) was the groom’s cake. We paid extra to have a cheesecake decorated a la hawkeye tigerhawk (with cherries on the side). The cake turned out fine (at least tasted wonderfully) but was not brought out by our reception hall prior to being cut aka no cute photos or any views of it.

    But from what I understand, we’re some of the lucky girls.

    Love the updates on your beautiful wedding!

  8. Megan

    I’m sorry things weren’t exactly as planned. At least it was nothing major that anyone else would notice! I don’t think anyone’s wedding goes exactly as planned, but I am totally in the same boat as you. When you spend that long planning and doing all the details, you care that things weren’t perfect. Ours was the cake, or rather the cupcakes. We had a small cake to cut which was perfect, and then had cupcakes for the guest. We paid extra to have the cupcakes filled and come that day there was no filling in the cupcakes. I was upset and worried people noticed since it was printed on the menu that they were filled. I did contact the baker about it just to say hey this wasn’t right but I never even got a response so I completely understand your not bothering to contact the florist.

  9. I’m so sorry! Strangely, I relate to this post…a LOT. And I’m not even married yet! All I can say is I’m EXTREMELY PARANOID about this happening! I’m not picky about what flowers are used, but I do have a general vision of what I want the flowers to look like. I haven’t been too specific with my florist, but now I’m a little worried. At our last meeting with them, I’m going to make sure to e-mail her pictures of what I want. Thanks for sharing your experience!

    -Miss Puppy Love

  10. stephanie

    I hadn’t been here for a while and missed the new posts. I totally relate to this post. I would definitely confront the florist and write some negative reviews on that wedding vendor review website whose name I do not even remember. And the chargers- I hope you got a post-facto discount, that shit is expensive.

    I still grumble about the things that went wrong on my wedding day, which, of course, were actually my fault. Well, except for the hotel. The hotel called my exhausted ass at six a.m. ON THE DAY OF MY WEDDING to ask what time the in room massage should come. Of course I couldn’t fall back asleep. I almost killed someone, and was more tired on my big day than I would have liked.

    The other things that went wrong were my fault, mostly. My placecards were crappy because I did not put any effort into them. Like really crappy. I still regret it. The girl who was supposed to distribute programs just failed to show up on time so my wedding planner had to do that on top of everything else. I’m not sure everyone got one. And I didn’t arrange for champagne in our room when we got back. And my godfather stepped on my dress and tore the bottom off, though at that point i was too tipsy to care. (ouch. the dress was not cheap, either.)

    But unless I really search my mind for these things, they are just little blips in a perfect day. It’s all good. Just so you know, you’re in good company on the “aaaaagh! i can’t believe….” front.

  11. amyc13

    Thanks for this. I STILL sometimes think about this crap, even 6 months later! And yes, we did get our money back for the chargers–the venue was actually really awesome about it. The coordinator felt really terrible, so we got our money back + $200 in gift cards to their area restaurants. It made me feel a little better at least!

  12. Pingback: Help Us Pick a Wedding Photo « The Bookworm Wife

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