We’re all well aware of the phenomenon of the Post-Wedding-Chop…that is, when brides, who likely have been growing their hair long for months on end to achieve a beautiful updo for their weddings, CHOP their hair off shortly after getting married. I myself thought I would be running right out to get my hair cut…but we’ve been married almost 6 months and I have yet to do so. But ladies, have you ever heard of the Post-Wedding…Facial Hair? No? Allow me to explain.
This is the phenomenon that occurs with husbands who can grow facial hair at a high rate of speed. Many of them choose to go fresh-faced for their weddings…ala my own husband:
(Photo by Sarah Immel Photography)
Afterwards, however…instead of a post-wedding-chop, they let their facial hair grow. Sometimes, for months on end, until they have an epic beard like this one:
Then, they might shave their beard, say, at the end of football season, when their team has just won the Super Bowl. Now it’s time to focus on the next sports, like March Madness…and baseball. And if you know how superstitious men get about football…well, baseball, it’s like ten-fold. If your husband decides not to shave for all of baseball season, you’re looking at like, 7 months out of the year of facial hair. And even he might get annoyed. So, he decides to find a player with some superb facial hair (hopefully from his own team) to emulate. And he does.
And then you come home from work and are scared shitless at the strange facial hair on your husband’s face.
Or maybe that’s just me.