Category Archives: Worries

The Post In Which I Bitch A Lot

So, there WERE actually some minor details that went wrong on our wedding day, which I alluded to briefly here.  While we had a beautiful, wonderful day and I wouldn’t change a thing about the events that transpired, there were two aesthetic issues that left me feeling…not so happy.  In the interest of full disclosure, I’m going to talk about them here so I can put them to bed once and for all.

We’ll start with the minor issue:  the chargers for our dinner tables.  Remember when we had our tasting and decided what our tablescape would look like?  We decided to go with gold runners and gold chargers to bring out the gold aspects of our color scheme, as the flowers were going to be red.  It was going to look something like this:

ChargersPhoto by me

When we arrived at the venue, I was pretty much in a whirlwind…so it wasn’t until dinner that I sat down and noticed this:

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Um, yeah.  There’s no chargers there.  No chargers…that we had paid extra money to rent.

I previously mentioned that on the day before our wedding, my sister and I had gone to the venue to do some set-up of our family wedding photo display.  When we left, I felt really…harried, because the venue coordinator wasn’t there when we were, the room was a mess, and no one seemed to know what was going on.  As it turns out, no one did.  My mom spoke to our coordinator after we realized the chargers weren’t there, and she was so apologetic and actually, downright horrified that her staff had forgotten the chargers.  She spoke to the head set-up guy right away (who was also there to assist her at our actual reception), and he said that he had seen the chargers on the event order but had forgotten to put them out.  Our coordinator had taken a VACATION DAY* the day before our wedding, so the event order had never been double-checked.

Honestly, I wasn’t too upset about it.  They gave us our money back for the rented chargers PLUS gave us  several gift certificates for their local restaurants to make up for it, and Maria, our coordinator, was so apologetic.   While I LOVED the aesthetics of the chargers and was disappointed they weren’t there, no one really noticed so in the end, it wasn’t that big of a deal.

The flowers, however, are a different story.

Let me first preface this by saying that YES, our flowers were beautiful and YES, the room looked great, and NO, no one noticed or knew about any of the problems with them. 

You’ll remember that I had previously raved about how much I loved our florist…and that fact remains true.  She was a charming woman who I felt got our vision through and through. We reviewed what I wanted several times and she took copious notes, plus copies of the inspiration pictures I had printed out to give to her.  I should have listened to those tiny alarm bells going off in my head when she took her notes on scrap paper, though…as later, it was a clear indication that maybe she wasn’t paying as close attention as I thought she was.   Hold on to your hats, kids, because I’m not sure you’ll believe the stark differences in what I thought I was getting and what we ended up with.

First up, my bouquet…

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…was supposed to be RED.

As in, all of the flowers in my bouquet were supposed to be red.  RED.  Like my bridesmaids bouquets, just bigger with more roses and the like. 

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Secondly, the flower girl…

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…was supposed to be carrying a pomander.  Like this one—only in ivory/gold tones—which is the inspiration picture I gave to my florist.  She even confirmed the size with me several times!

pomander
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You’ll notice she’s carry a mini-bouquet.  To which she, as a 6 year old, was like, “What the hell**, Aunt Amy?  I thought I was having a ball like my sucker ball I practiced with last night?”

ring-bearer-flower-girl1Photo by family friend

Lastly, and the biggest error…the one that made me make a beeline straight for my mom as soon as we arrived at the reception and tell her “I hate the flowers!”

Our centerpieces.

The low ones were beautiful, and EXACTLY what I pictured.  So, there’s that, at least.

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The tall ones, though?  Well, let’s just say there’s a STARK difference between this:

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And this:

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THREE MEASLEY STICKS.  I WAS SO PISSED ABOUT THIS.

Hello, fall wedding?  HUGE branches?  Hello, hello, hello?!  What about the first picture evokes ANYTHING in the second picture?

I got over it quickly and went about enjoying the evening.  I didn’t want to let this ruin it, and most if not all of our guests never noticed my displeasure. But honestly, for a few weeks afterwards, it was one of the only things about the wedding I could think about.   So stupid, right?  I mean, we had such a wonderful day, and here I was concentrating on the dumb flowers…something that I, admittedly, had said I didn’t really care about it.  But the truth is…

You care.  You do.  When you’ve put months into planning an event and then expect it to have a certain aesthetic, and that aesthetic falls short, you care. 

I’m over it now and I am able to look back at the pictures and think, it doesn’t matter, because our wedding was beautiful and gorgeous regardless and I know how amazing it looked and was.    But I wanted to blog about this to let you unmarried gals know—no matter how prepared you are, no matter how well your plans have gone—something will go wrong and it is OK to be upset about it for a hot minute.  Try not to let it ruin your night (I was really good about moving right along), but it IS ok to dwell a little bit after the fact.

And since we’re being truthful here:  I’ve never had the guts to confront my florist about this.  I know I should, because we paid a lot of money, but I don’t know how to tell a woman who I really do LIKE so much that her work was sub-par.***

So, that’s that.  It feels good to get it off my chest and be done with it.  I love how beautiful our wedding turned out, but I think it’s important to be a realist about what really went down. Now it’s your turn:  anything go wrong like this at your nuptials?

*Listen, everyone’s entitled to a vacation now and then.  But the day before an event like a wedding?  I don’t know…if it was me, I probably wouldn’t plan a day off the day before an event that I’d been working on with the bride and groom for TWO YEARS.
**She didn’t say hell.  She’s 6, people.  But you catch my drift.
***And we’re not the only ones.  Brad’s barber—er, barbette?—actually used the same florist for her wedding and had not so great results, also.

All photos by Sarah Immel Photography unless otherwise noted.

P.S.  Did you notice my new button at the top of the page?  Now you can click on “Wedding Recaps” to find links to every recap I wrote! 

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Filed under Floral, Venue, Worries

Perspective

Well, here we are, approximately 45 days out from the wedding (depending on when you read this!), and I’d like to offer a bit of perspective I’ve developed over the last few weeks:

There are certain things guests will NOT give a SHIT about,
so LET. IT. GO.

You guys know that I am a huge perfectionist—a total Type A personality to the max.  But over the past 22 months, I have really learned—and indeed embraced!—the ability to let some things go.  I want everything to be perfect all the time—not necessarily life (I mean, come on, we all know that life isn’t perfect)—but the little details, like things being printed exactly super straight, tissue packets that are easy to open, etc.  Over the past few weeks though, as we get closer and closer to the wedding, I’ve developed a bit of a mantra:  let.  it.  go. 

Tiny, insignificant minorly-screwed-up details that I notice, and that you as a bride notice, are likely not going to be noticed by your Average Joe Wedding Guest.  And if they are noticed by Average Joe, he likely DOESN’T CARE and won’t hold it against you.  And if he does care, Average Joe is an average asshole.

I saw this post yesterday from Miss Husky on the ‘Bee and knew I needed to blog about this.  My message is this:  RELAX.   Her post is a perfect example of something that would TOTALLY bother me, too,  but at some point, you just have to let it go.  No one—I repeat, NO ONE—will care if your RSVP envelopes are printed upside down…or if your invitation vendor screwed up some of your addresses so you fixed them yourself…and if they do care about that, your guests are jerks.   So save yourself some sanity and let the little things go.   Laugh about the tiny mistakes—it’s part of the process, and the process is supposed to be FUN. 

Did you develop an “Eff It” perspective as you got closer to the wedding?

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Filed under Random, Worries

Something A Bit Heavy.*

Editor’s Note:  Although I wrote this post last week, I was a bit behind on my blog reading and missed the announcement for Caitlin’s (of Operation Beautiful & Healthy Tipping Point fame) “Change the Way You See, Not the Way You Look” week.  It’s going on this week, August 2 through August 7, as a way for bloggers and readers to think and talk about body images issues.  I am participating and submitting this post!  Check out Operation Beautiful and Healthy Tipping Point for more information or if you’d like to participate.

CTWYSNTWYL 

Old School 1
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Remember this scene from the movie Old School?  Mitch and Nicole go have coffee at the diner, and the waiter gives them their meal for free, because Mitch, of course, is The Godfather of the fraternity the guys have started on campus.  My favorite part of that scene is when Nicole leaves the diner in a huff, and the waiter leans down to Mitch and says, “Love.   It’s a mother-fucker, eh?”

So why am I bringing this movie up?  Because today I want to take a time-out from DIY, guest lists, butterflies and rainbows and talk about the pressures we brides feel to look our best on our wedding day.  What does this have to do with Old School?  Why, this, of course:  “Self-esteem.  It’s a motherfucker, eh?”

The bridal industry, and the world at large, it seems, puts a ton of pressure on brides to look our best on our wedding day.  Every bride—EVERY one—is trying to lose 10 pounds, get in shape, or is generally worrying about how she’ll look on her wedding day.  Everywhere you look in the bridal industry, you can’t escape it:  from the uber-thin models wearing gorgeous dresses in the magazines, to the popular wedding websites with entire sections dedicated to “looking and feeling your best,” and even to a whole crop of bridal boot camps now gaining momentum in the fitness industry.  “Lose 10 Pounds!” “Slim your thighs!” “Tone your arms!”  These are just a few of the headlines you might see on a popular wedding website or in a wedding magazine.  I think the worst sort of pressure, though, is the type we put on ourselves.  We’re inundated with these images and articles and boot camps and we suddenly feel we have to be perfect.

And while there’s no doubt that every bride wants to look and feel her best on the big day, this constant pressure is sometimes, I think, too much.   I’ve been really struggling with my self-esteem lately, and I know others have too.  I never used to be a person who was obsessive about her weight.  Sure, I might be a bit pudgy around the edges, but I generally make good food choices, enjoy quality exercise, and like to yoga it up now and then, too.  Lately, though, I’ve been all-consumed by a lot of the following thoughts:   What will I eat?  When will I eat it?  When can I get to the gym?  How much weight have I lost?  What if my dress doesn’t zip?  Must. Work. Out.  I’m so tired I could cry.  Ugh, I look and feel fat today. What’s for lunch?  How many calories are in that?  Get. To. The. Gym. 

It’s a slippery slope, isn’t it?  One day, you have a pretty healthy perspective on your weight.  Sure, you might feel bloated some days, but generally, you like the way you look and you feel good about where you’re at.  Pretty soon, though, you can become someone you’re not.  Someone who worries constantly that she looks fat.  Berates herself internally for not working out enough, or eating too much at dinner one night.

This, friends, is not who I normally am.  I am not the girl who is obsessed with exercising, calorie counting, or the like.  I am the girl who loves good food and wine.  Who ran a marathon.  And who, two days ago, decided she had had ENOUGH of the pressure she was putting on herself.

First, I read this.  And thought, Ah yes, how profound.  She looks lovely on her wedding day, and her weight was the furthest thing from her mind.  And her post was directly intended for people like me, who were suddenly feeling the pressure a little too much. 

Then, I talked to a good friend.  Who told me to step back, re-evaluate, and stop beating myself up about my weight and my looks and start celebrating myself for the things I’ve accomplished. 

And then, I went shopping.  I found some beautiful undergarments for my wedding gown, a lovely dress for my shower, and a gorgeous, sexy number for our rehearsal dinner.  In a size 6.  And only then did I realize how ludicrous my self-deprecating thoughts had become. 

So, girls, I am here to spread the message:  stop beating yourselves up. You’re going to look lovely on your wedding day, no matter how much you weigh.  If you’re not where you want to be at, not a big deal—being heavier than you’d like to be on your wedding day will not, in the least, detract from the huge commitment you’re about to make to your partner or the love and joy you’ll share with your family and friends.  So let’s try to remember that from now on, ok?  Myself included.  And when you need a pick-me-up, go visit one of my favorite websites:  Operation Beautiful.  Consider this YOUR Operation Beautiful post-it note, girls—you are ALL beautiful, no matter what your shape and size. 

*Pun intended.

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Filed under Fitness, Worries

The Downside of STDs

Or, “How Sending Save-The-Dates Can Create Major Guest List Drama.”

Save-The-Dates are very popular in wedding culture.  One quick Google search for “Save The Dates” yields 21,800,000 hits.  I’m not quite sure when they became popular, but it’s clear from the millions of ideas and etiquette surrounding them, they are one wedding trend that is here to stay.

Save-The-Dates are great because they allow your out-of-town and extremely busy guests to plan ahead to attend your wedding.  They’re almost certainly not necessary, but they are definitely a fun project to include in your wedding plans if you can. 

We sent our Save-The-Dates around the 7 month mark.  We didn’t send them to everyone on our eventual final guest list, mostly because some of the guests we weren’t sure we would end up inviting.  The cardinal rule of thumb with STDs is that anyone who gets one should receive a formal invite as well.  We kept that in mind, and if we weren’t sure yet about inviting a particular guest, we didn’t send one. 

That being said, most of our guests and family members did receive them.  Imagine my shock and surprise then, when I learned that a certain family member* who I am not very close to had called my father to question why her adult children were not invited to the wedding.  Um, last I checked, we hadn’t sent invites yet…so how do you know they’re not invited?

Said family member assumed that because her children had not received a Save-The-Date, they were not going to be invited.  Now, I am not here to argue the semantics…or even to debate the fact if they are going to be invited or not.  I am simply here to share my experience and thoughts on this, as it has turned into a sticky family situation.  With that, here is an open letter to wedding guests:

Dear Guests,

It is not appropriate to question a bride and groom—or their parents—regarding the guest list.  This is never appropriate.  EVER.  Regardless of whether so and so got a Save-The-Date or an invitation or not.  Although it is a gathering of many family members and friends in one place, a wedding is NOT a family reunion.  It is  a celebration of the couple, and their love and commitment to each other.  Yes, there is a ceremony, and it is the most important part of the day.  However, when all is said and done, a wedding, in essence, is a party, and the hosts will invite who they see fit.  If that means they will not be inviting children, so be it. If that means they will not be inviting distant cousins, so be it.  Would you call your best friend to complain that your little children are not invited to her adult cocktail and dinner party?  No.  Let me repeat:  THIS IS A PARTY, not a family reunion.  So, no—everyone does NOT get to be invited.  And I am—truly, I am!—sorry if you, as a guest, have your feelings hurt, because someone close to you who you feel should be invited, is not.  If you feel it’s too egregious an error, then by all means, please don’t attend the wedding or party you were invited to.  But it is NEVER, EVER OK TO ASSUME that someone is not invited based on a Save-The-Date.  Why?  Because assuming makes an “ass” out of “u” and “me.”  And assuming creates so much more drama than is ever necessary for a wedding.  This is a happy time in the bride and groom’s life, and it is not a time for you to be making them feel bad about who they choose to—and can afford to—invite.  But the most important reason not to assume?  Because a Save-The-Date is not an invitation.  It is an indication of invitation.  That doesn’t mean other people aren’t going to be invited.  Either way, it is not your place to question the bride and groom.  Certainly, there are merits to your arguments, I’m sure.  And certainly, there are instances when a bride and groom may, in fact, have made a mistake in not inviting someone.  But these instances are rare, and they are not for you to question.  Please, please, please…don’t be that guest who causes the bride sleepless nights because she is in a fit about the family dynamics surrounding who is invited and who is not.  Be a bigger person than that, and understand that there are many factors that go into planning a wedding and deciding who should attend.  If you are lucky enough that the bride and groom want you there, be gracious and kind and supportive.  Because that’s why YOU’RE invited—to bear witness to the commitment they will make to each other, not judge them for who they didn’t invite.

Sincerely,
Little Miss Wedding Planner

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(Source)
Hmm, maybe I need a copy of this book!

So, my dear friends, if you are experiencing or have experienced guest list drama because you’ve sent Save-The-Dates, please know that you’re not alone.  I’m told that this is a rite of passage for most brides, and that we all deal with this at one point or another.  So I am hear to tell you to hang in there.  This too shall pass.  And your wedding will still be wonderful and you will still be surrounded by those who love you and want to support your relationship. 

Have you had guest list or family drama?  Share your story in the comments!

*Said Family Member doesn’t actually know about the existence of this blog, so this entry falls on deaf ears, anyway.

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Filed under Relationships, Stationery, Worries

A Post for Sharing

Brie over at The Fit Bride has a great post up on her blog today:  Open Letter Thursday:  Stressed Bride Edition.  Basically, it’s an open letter that details some of the stereotypes people seem to have about brides and the way brides may be feeling.  Definitely harkens back to my “Having a Life” post.

Two of my favorite parts (certain things bolded by me for emphasis):

“3. It is certainly not “my day.”  It’s not even “our day.”  Weddings, like funerals, are less about the people they are for and more for the people attending.  We are trying our best to make our guests happy.  That’s not to say the wedding doesn’t suit our tastes and styles, because it does, but many of the decisions we have made have been for the benefit of others over ourselves.  So please don’t blame everything on our self-centeredness.  We have done our best to be gracious and accommodating to our guests.”

and

“5. Making decisions does not make me a bridezilla. Frankly, when given the option of, say, roses, peonies, and lilies, I would rather say just “peonies” and have the discussion over with than hem and haw and debate the merits of each flower for hours on end, asking every other person attending the wedding what they would prefer.”

It’s a great read and I think a lot of brides feel this way at one time or another, so go read it right now!

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On Having a Life

We interrupt your regularly scheduled blogging for this news flash:  IT IS NOT A CRIME TO ENJOY WEDDING PLANNING.

As many of you know, I recently joined the Formspring revolution, which seems to have taken the blogging world by storm lately.  [Side Note:  Go ask me your own questions here!]  I think it can be a fun and interesting way to get to know people; however, I just recently had a question that I deemed to be a bit “snarky,” which led to this blog post. 

As you all know, I am a planner. I am a Type-A Organizational Freak, all the way—and wedding planning has allowed me to let my proverbial freak flag fly. I. LOVE. IT. For whatever reason, though, it seems as though some people in my life find this hard to believe. Hence this question on my Formspring account (parts bolded by me for emphasis):

Many people expect you to suffer at some point from a post-planning depression (almost like post-partum, if you will) as this wedding planning has taken up a very large portion of your life. How do you see yourself dealing with that, if at all?

At first, I was a bit shocked by the question—and what struck me most was not that the person asking thought I was going to suffer from post-wedding depression, but that they thought wedding planning was my entire life. The line “many people expect you” led me to think this was someone who knew me, but the term “a very large portion of your life” made me second guess that because I feel anyone who knows me knows that wedding planning is but a small—albeit very important—part of my life right now. I think people tend to ask thinly-veiled snarky questions like this because they’ve been brought up with the notion—and indeed, it seems our culture has engrained in them—that all brides are crazy, stressed out bridezillas who simply can’t live after the wedding. Um, hello? Reality check?

We are having a very long engagement (23 months when all is said and done) and I sometimes feel as though “bride” is all anyone ever thinks of me anymore. You can go here to read my whole answer to the Formspring question, but to paraphrase: I am more than my wedding, people. And just because you’ve been hard-wired to believe that all brides are stressed out freakish bridezilla people who can’t think, talk, or do anything else besides wedding plan does NOT mean that I am the same way. Can we quit with the assumptions already? Because guess what?! I lead a very full life aside from wedding planning.  Sure, I’m planning  a wedding.  But I also:  work full-time, teach ballet one (sometimes two) nights a week, participate in a monthly book club, work out at the gym 4-5 times per week, take Bikram yoga classes, ran a marathon last fall, spend quality time with my fiance, and have an active social life with friends and family.  What you see here, on my blog, is but a snippet of my life and who I am as a person.  So can we quit thinking that once my wedding is over I am going to be depressed?

News Flash: I CAN’T WAIT TO GET MARRIED! And be a wife! And go on a honeymoon! And buy a house! And have babies! But I am also excited to take a cooking class, brush up my foreign language skills, train for another marathon, read the classics, celebrate the holidays, get caught up on NetFlix, and do a gazillion other things that make me me. Will I be sad that the wedding is over? Sure, I bet I’ll be emotional about it…but will I be depressed because the wedding planning took over my life and I can no longer do it? Um, no. Because it hasn’t taken over my life, whether you think so or not. But I do feel as though I need to clarify something here: I ENJOY WEDDING PLANNING. And you know what? That’s ok!  I am tired of everyone making assumptions that it is my whole life, or that it’s an unhealthy obsession.  Guess what, people?  It’s OK for me to enjoy what I am doing, because this is the only time in my life I will get to do it. 

When we got engaged, I jumped head first into the role of bride/wedding planner. And I learned that I LOVE IT. Hence, my blog. It is a great way for me to share all of my cool ideas, join an awesome community of supportive and smart bridal bloggers and readers, and it also acts as a way for me to remember my planning and projects for posterity.

Just because I enjoy wedding planning and happen to write a blog about it does not mean that wedding planning is ALL of who I am. Yes, I write a blog about my wedding plans. No, there are not a lot of other topics on this blog. Why? Because it is a dedicated wedding planning blog.  Please don’t go assuming that just because I blog about the wedding on a regular basis, it means that all of the things you see here are all I do, think and talk about. Please don’t also assume that because I enjoy wedding planning means I am not working hard on my relationship with my fiancé, or that I am not concentrating enough on our future marriage. Blogging and wedding planning are just a small part of who I am and what I am about.

So listen to me, friends: it is not a crime for you to enjoy wedding planning. You are still a bride if you don’t get stressed out, if you laugh more than you cry, if you love checking off your checklist (hello, me!). It’s ok for you to love stationery, or flowers, or heck, even the bathroom baskets or whatever other little details float your boat. It’s awesome if you love to DIY. It’s awesome if you don’t. It is ok for you to love being the bride, being the planner, being the one in charge of it all. Because I know that you are also excited to marry the man or woman you love, the one you laugh with, the one you’ll be with for the long haul. Just because you’re having fun with the wedding planning doesn’t mean you don’t care about the marriage or what it means to be committed to someone else for the rest of your life. And just because you’re having fun with it doesn’t mean that it is all of who you are. I know—even if everyone around you doesn’t—that you are more than just a bride. And soon, you’ll be more than just a wife.

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On Feeling Competitive

In case you live under a rock are not sports-minded, yesterday was the Super Bowl.  My team didn’t make it, but you could say I am a closet Saints fan this year after they beat the Vikings (the team I love to hate because of a certain quarterback), so I was happy to see them win it all.  Watching the game, though, got me thinking about competition. 

Do you ever feel like your wedding is a competition?  I never used to, but lately, I have to admit that I have been feeling this way.  We will be invited to/attend 5 weddings this year, all before our own wedding in October.  I don’t feel any sort of competition with those weddings, though, because all of them are so completely different than our own.  There’s an outdoor wedding in the North Woods of Wisconsin, a country club wedding, a hotel wedding, a wedding at a history museum, and a big ol’ fashioned family wedding.  Each wedding and its venue, style, and formality is very fitting for each respective couple.  Another important distinction?  Each wedding has its own set of guests, with very little overlap, and thus, no comparison.

Recently, one of my closest friends, B, got engaged.  Before her engagement, Dr. Groomy and I were the first  in our set of friends to take the plunge into engagement waters.  While I have enjoyed being the first one to go through this process, going first does have its own double-edged sword.  I’m learning as I go—as no one in our tight-knit little group has gotten married yet, no one really knows the ins and outs of planning a wedding.  When we started planning, I prioritized the things Dr. Groomy and I wanted most, and went from there.   However, since B’s engagement, I’m struggling to remember that there is no right or wrong way to plan your wedding.    Even though we have our own set of priorities, those priorities are not going to match everyone else’s.  We wanted a fancy venue, yummy food, and great photography.  Photography is not high on B’s list, but a live band is.  While I would normally celebrate these differences (Hello, live band?!  Awesome!), lately I’ve been worried that everyone will compare our weddings, because we have really similar guest lists and there will be a lot of people who attend both weddings.  Though it’s hard for me to admit, I have felt myself questioning our choices based on what B has been deciding lately.  (Example thought that ran through my head recently:  “OMG she is booking her transportation already?!  Holy crap!  Oh no!  They want a trolley too?!  What if she thinks I am copying her?!” )

Honestly, I don’t know why I am feeling like this.  B is not a competitive person, and we are not competitive friends—in fact, we’re far from it…more of the “two peas in a pod” variety of friends, if you get my drift.  I am absolutely THRILLED for her and cannot wait to be there, with her, when she marries the love of her life.  And I know she feels the same about me…yet lately I can’t help feeling tense and worried that people aren’t going to like my wedding but are going to love hers.  Or they’re going to think our drinks are expensive because hers are priced differently.  Or they’re going to think we’re pretentious and they’re not.  Stupid, right? 

Fact:  Every venue prices things differently.   
Fact:  We are a laid-back couple but we really wanted a fancy party, so that’s what we’re doing.  That doesn’t make us pretentious. 
Fact:  We are having two completely different weddings…so why am I feeling like this? 

I think part of the reason is because we, as brides, put so much time and effort into planning this ONE day, and there’s this huge complex about weddings out there—you know, the whole “it is the most important day in your life and if it gets screwed up you are a failure at being a bride” attitude.  So not true, but sometimes, that’s the perception the wedding industry seems to be throwing in our faces (I’m talking to you, WeTV!).  Because I was the first one to start planning, I only knew one way of doing things.  B is planning now too and she’s doing things in her own way.  That’s as it should be…and even though it’s completely illogical, it leads me to feel like I’m doing something incorrectly.

There isn’t a neat way to wrap up this post except to say that it was really difficult for me to write.  Admitting to feeling inadequate or competitive is no easy feat, but I feel like I can’t be the only one who’s in need of reassurance.  So tell me, ladies…how do you fight off feelings of inadequacy and competition when it comes to planning your weddings?

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Filed under Worries