Ring Conundrum

I was recently let in on a little secret:  one of my best friend’s little brothers is about to get engaged!  He is taking his girlfriend on a cruise this month and he will be popping the question to here while on board the ship.  However, he’s having a bit of trouble deciding what to do about the ring.

The backstory:  N & D have been dating for a few years, and they’ve been very open in their discussions regarding marriage.  D is very particular about the jewelry she wears, and N wants to let her be involved in picking out the ring.  He has a very specific budget he is sticking to, so he wants to let it be her choice whether she puts more into the size of the diamond, the setting, etc.  However, he does NOT want her to know that they are getting engaged—he wants it to be a total surprise.  His current solution is to buy a cheap-o fake ring to propose to her with and then let her go ring shopping with him when they get back from the cruise.

ring shopping(Note:  This is obviously not N&D.  Image from here) 

So where is this conundrum I speak of? Well, my friend K (N is her little brother) brought up this point to him:  “When I get engaged, I am going to feel so sentimental over that moment and that story…that I will feel tied to whatever ring he proposes with.  So I think you should at least consider getting her a real ring because she may love it just because of the sentimental value surrounding it.”  N realized K had a good point and became confused about what to do.  Now, he’s considering these options:

Option A:  Buy a solitaire diamond.  This way she can still pick a different setting at a later time, but gets to have the sentimental value of always wearing the diamond he picked for her.
Option B: Buy a fake ring and take her shopping later.  Obvious pro of this is that she can then choose the ring she really wants.
Option C:  Buy her a birthstone ring, which he can use to propose and then she can wear on her right hand once they return and go shopping for the “real” ring.  A big con of this?  If he buys her a nice birthstone ring, it will cut into the budget for the actual ring—remember, he’s on  a set budget and isn’t moving from there. Option D:  Pick the ring and setting all by himself, knowing that he knows her quite well and wants the opportunity to choose something beautiful for her. 

I’m inclined towards Option D, as that’s what Dr. Groomy did for me.  And he picked out a gorgeous ring that I absolutely LOVE and definitely would have chosen for myself. 

(I love it so much I used it for my blog header!  Photo by Sarah Immel Photography)

So friends, I turn to you.  How did your fiancé pick out your ring?  If you were in N’s position, what would you do?

*Note:  I received permission from said parties to share this story.  Wanna know how it ends?  Stay tuned!



Filed under Jewelry, Relationships

11 responses to “Ring Conundrum

  1. I gave my husband hints on the ring before he proposed. I knew he was going to eventually propose though, so I had that luxury.

    I agree that there is sentimentality attached to the ring that he proposes with.

    This is a hard decision and I think it’s one he’s ultimately going to have to make on his own.

  2. I say D! My hubby actually had my ring made from scratch since he couldn’t find what he wanted to give me in a store. I love the ring because it’s beautiful, but it’s even more special to know that he actually soreted through little piles of diamonds and sapphires and had something special made just for me!

  3. Myla

    I dropped not so subtle hints about the center stone, but in the end we never even went ring shopping. My finace selected the ring completely by himself AND remembered what cutting I really liked! I would go with Option D.

  4. Ali

    Personally, I think it would be fun if he gave her a fake ring. No matter what, people are going to say, “How did he propose?!!” and she’ll say, ” We were on a boat…blah blah…” Not “So what kind of ring did he propose with?”…you know what I mean? Then she’ll get what she wants and he doesn’t have to decide…

  5. Jenell

    I’d pick D. It’s the thought that counts. Later on you can always change the setting.

  6. I vote for D. You can never get that moment of total surprise back, and I have only ever heard of one person who hated the ring her husband chose. Most people are not that superficial and are more sentimental. If he uses a fake ring on the boat she may feel like it was kind of ‘thrown together’ vs. well thought out.

  7. p.s. hubby and I picked out my ring together (I don’t wear jewelry AT ALL so he had nothing to go on) — and yet, I was still completely surprised when the actual proposal came along. I had no idea that he actually picked it up and made all the arrangements.

  8. Jordan

    I like the idea of the birthstone. You can probably find a nice birthstone ring for $100-$200

  9. Pingback: Random Ramblings « Little Miss Wedding Planner

  10. Pingback: Ring Conundrum: Finale! « Little Miss Wedding Planner

  11. Pingback: Ring Conundrum: Epilogue « Little Miss Wedding Planner

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